Fun Festivals & Holidays

Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018

Thanksgiving Day is an annual Canadian holiday, occurring on the second Monday in October, which celebrates the harvest and other blessings of the past year. Thanksgiving Day in Canada is celebrated on 8 October.

Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018

Here are some Thanksgiving Quotes Funny  in 2018

  • The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ But we do that every day Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
  • It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.
  • I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
  • Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.
  • I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
  • When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
  • We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
  • Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.
  • Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?
  • Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018

Most funny quotes of thanksgiving are :

  • We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
  • Every Thanksgiving I think about how much Pilgrims had to sacrifice just so we could have a day off work.
  • Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?
  • Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
  • Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
  • You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.
  • Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. I had to show ID proving I’m not a butterball turkey.

Thanksgiving Day Quotes Funny

Best funny thanksgiving day quotes 2018 are :

  • They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.
  • You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”
  • “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
  • “That’s the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless.
  • A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn’t find one big enough. She asked the stock boy “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied “No they’re dead”.
  • To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
  • “It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general.’ It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general.”
  • “I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself.
  • “It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with ‘gourmet’ status.”
  • “A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”
Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny
Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny

Short Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018

New Funny short quotes of Thanksgiving Day are :

  • To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
  • Thanksgiving day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man, it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.
  • Thanksgiving is the holiday of peace, the celebration of work and the simple life… a true folk-festival that speaks the poetry of the turn of the seasons, the beauty of seedtime and harvest, the ripe product of the year – and the deep, deep connection of all these things with God.
  • Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.
  • Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday…The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
  • We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018
Happy Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2018

Thanksgiving Quotes to God 2018

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile

Few more thanksgiving quotes 2018 for smile are :

  • May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey plump, May your potatoes and gravy, have a nary lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs.
  • We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
  • On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment—halftime.” — Unknown
    10) “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
  • It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with ‘gourmet’ status.
  • What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
  • I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
  • It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.
  • Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, “How long has Mom been drinking like this?” My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.”
Thanksgiving Quotes Funny
Thanksgiving Quotes Funny

Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Facebook 2018

New unique thanksgiving funny quotes 2018 are :

  • Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.
  • Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
  • What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
  • The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up.
  • Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
  • Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
  • I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the “history” I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.
  • Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day!
Short Thanksgiving Quotes Funny
Short Thanksgiving Quotes Funny

Thanksgiving Quotes For Friends Funny 2018

Best ever funny quotes for friends on thanksgiving day 2018 are :

  • “Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
  • “I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.”
  • After Thanksgiving dinner men fall asleep because they’re full of turkey; women fall asleep because they’re exhausted.
  • “The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’”
  • “Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
  • An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
  • “We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”

Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Inspirational 2018

  • Every Thanksgiving I think about how much Pilgrims had to sacrifice just so we could have a day off work. ”
  • For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.
  • I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky.
  • I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
  • My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
  • Somehow, I feel that the spirit of Thanksgiving is at odds with beating someone up for a new flat screen on Black Friday.
  • Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
  • Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.  People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.  And then discover once a year is way too often.
Thanksgiving Day Quotes Funny
Thanksgiving Day Quotes Funny

Happy Thanksgiving Day Quotes Inspirational 2018

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes 2018

Jokes on Thanksgiving Day 2018 are :

  • The lesson of Thanksgiving is you should avoid meeting new people because they’ll just end up slaughtering your entire population.
  • The Pilgrims had amazing foresight to invent Thanksgiving and football on the same day.
  • There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
  • We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving.  Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan.  You get more stuffing.
  • I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land

Funny Thanksgiving Day 2018

  • “Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing breadcrumbs up a dead bird’s butt.”
  • “I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.”
  • “What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
  • “Thanksgiving was nothing more than a Pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.”
  • “I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

Funny Thanksgiving Sayings 2018

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